Everybody Shut Up …. Please!


ImageUndoubtedly there’s nothing like a conversation with a young one to completely change your outlook on something, whether of substance or not!  I am blessed daily with comical conversations with my nearly-nine year-old, Aidan, and my soon-to-be-six year-old (tomorrow!), Owen. Today, however, we added to that mix with Owen’s best friend, Alex, as we drove him to our house for a play date. As usual, the backseat conversations did not disappoint.  Need to brighten your day?  Read on!

Alex (to me):  What is your name again?

Me (pretty relaxed with kiddos): You can call me Amy.

Alex: Amy, my family goes out for lunch after church every Sunday.

Me (sensing a HUGE hint in that statement): Oh! Wow! We don’t do that, Alex.

Alex (not skipping a beat):  You could START today!!

Aidan (changing the subject while proudly announcing):  Guess what, Alex? I’m half Hispanic!

[I’m not entirely sure where this came from since his roots hail largely from Germany, Poland, Norway, and Sweden!]

Alex (not to be outdone by Aidan):  Oh yeah? Well I have a friend that is half crazy APE!

[OK. I’m not even going to TRY to top that one!]

Since they were now on a descent-oriented conversation, this followed …

Alex:  Konnichiwa, Owen!

Owen (scratching his cute little head): Wha …. ?

Alex (taking on an air of higher education): It means “shut up”.

Me (trying desperately not to laugh): Ummm …. I don’t think that’s right, Alex. I’m pretty certain that it means “hello” or “good afternoon”.

[Suddenly raucous laughter erupts in the back seat as they all ignore me and start yelling out this newly discovered *command*, Konnichiwa! After a seemingly endless stretch of time, Alex declared that the decibel levels were decidedly deafening!]

Alex (commanding): Everybody … Konnichiwa!!  Please.

[Everybody shut up, please?  Well, at least he was polite about what he THOUGHT he was saying.]

Alex and Owen both attend Kindergarten in the same school district but are in different schools. They share the same crazy Kindergarten schedule …. All-day every other day and alternating Fridays. Believe me, there are days that I’M not sure if he should be attending or not!  Alex, much like our own family, comes from a home where some of the kids have been or are currently being home educated. When the conversation in the car came into more subdued volumes, he began to share more with us.

Alex:  Tomorrow morning when I wake up, I’ll be going to SCHOOL …. REAL school, NOT home school.

[HA!  My 17 year-old, sitting in the front passenger seat, shot me a look from the corner of his eye with a slight smile gracing his face. OK, I’m going to let that one go. After all, it came from a five year-old, right?]

The conversation turned to age when Owen announced that he’d be celebrating his birthday in one day. This often provides for good humor anytime an early elementary child and someone over the ripe age of 20 are involved. Today’s comical conversation was not an exception!

Owen (happily): I’m having a birthday tomorrow, Alex! I’ll be SIX!

Alex (about 5″ taller than Owen): Wow! Tomorrow I will still be FIVE and I think I’ll still be BIGGER than you, Owen!  (continuing on)  My brother is SEVEN already!!

Me: Wow! That’s really OLD!

Aidan (to no one in particular): Well, I’m going to be NINE in a MONTH!

Me (to Alex): And how old is your sister, Hannah, Alex? Is she 12?

Alex (with a slight sound of exasperation in his young voice): No! She’s a TEENAGER!  Isaac, are YOU a teenager yet?

[Evidently all ages from 13-19 are lumped together in one enormously scary category?]

Aidan (nearly nine but still trying to gain ground with Alex): I’m actually 19. I’m just small.

Alex (surprised): Wow! I didn’t know that!

Me (trying to encourage Aidan to come clean with the truth): You’re not 19, Aidan. Please don’t lie.

Aidan (calculatingly):  I’m NOT lying …. I’m tricking.

[Uh huh]

These entertaining exchanges brought us almost all the way home, covering matters at a five year-old level concerning tradition, descent, age, and language! Alas, the entertainment did not stop upon reaching our abode, however. After lunch, Alex was exploring a cheap, and thus broken, airsoft pistol when Isaac told him he could take it home.

Alex (to Isaac, sweetly):  I wish I had a brother like you at home.

[Isaac was momentarily thinking that Alex was a really great kid when Alex interrupted that stream of consciousness with the continuation of his declaration.]

Alex: Because then he would give me all his stuff.

Kids’ voiced-thoughts and conversations can be so awesome. Quite often, we are moving too quickly to actually hear them, however. As busy adults, we just need to slow down to catch the comedy, allowing them to both entertain us with their exchanges and imbue us with their innocence.  Everybody, shut up … please.

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2 responses to “Everybody Shut Up …. Please!

  1. Never a dull moment, is there Amy? I’m so glad you wrote this all down while you could still remember it! 😀 Great fun!

    • Exactly, Debbie! I knew if I didn’t record this immediately, it would be gone!! Aging brains tend to work that way! 😉

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